Saturday, September 20, 2008

In which the Rambler confronts her ISSSSS-sues. Or some of them

It has been a very gruelling day, and I am feeling thoroughly gruelled. Also in deep need of re-gruntling at the first possible moment.

Wedding this afternoon at one. Guest officiant, good colleague, the bridegroom being his son. Gospel and sermon to be covered by moi. So OK fine, I can read the Beatitudes and then weave them together seamlessly with FIRST CHRYSANTHEMUMS as it was called at another recent wedding. I can even Rise Above the performance of the reader of First-Thirteen, there, in spite of her seizing the moment to weep loudly On Mike. Well if I'd been reading the intensely lame translation she chose, I might have felt like weeping too.

My powers of forbearance and Christian Meekness already in short supply after witnessing the rehearsal yesterday afternoon. I give good rehearsal, I think. I give DIRECTION. And I tried so hard to keep my big cake-hole shut at this one because I WASN'T the celebrant. But oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. So many things needed to be made clear, and weren't. Like what the photographer's limits were, where she would and would NOT be allowed to go.

And the celebrant, being father of the groom...had buck fever to a certain degree. So that when I had gospelled, and processed myself back up the aisle and actually into the pulpit, before I could utter, the poor dear man was into the "Wilt thou, Jehosaphat" and that pretty much put paid to the homiletic moment, there. SIGH.

Hilarity, less than totally suppressed, on the part of Daughter Unit and SIL, who were also present in the chancel, SIL as organist and Daughter Unit in charge of Schubert "Ave Maria" and "One Bread, One Body" during communion (and nicely too).

Anybody need a perfectly good like new sermon on First Corinthians?

9 comments:

Jim said...

EVERYONE needs a good sermon on First Chysanthemums.

Crimson Rambler said...

"Go to church, much, do you?" is the question there I think

Towanda said...

In solidarity with your gruelled-ness, I'm trying not to laugh...

FranIAm said...

Oh dear! I came by to say hello and to say that I hope that you don't mind that I included you in this post!

I did enjoy (gulp) the story. Your cakehole. You've got "teh funny."

Erin said...

Oh, I think the funniest parts of clergy gatherings are when everyone starts sharing their wedding, baptism and funeral stories. I've had non-clergy friends express horror that there are funny stories about funerals but it is kind of like nurse humour - potentially gruesome and funny at the same time.

Kathryn said...

CR, be of good cheer. The Bad Wedding Angel was working overtime yesterday. The service I had, while not including First Chrysanthemums (though I did recently hear a portion of the book of the prophet Malarkey) DID feature the blessing of the 3 year old daughter of the happy couple, who spent most of the service climbing on every available surface (and a good few I would have preferred unavailable...it was touch and go at the altar, I tell you), upended her basket of rose petals in a moment of umbrage at being asked to come and stand by her parents to be blessed and decided at one point to help her partner in crime, who was even younger, to undress down to her sweet little disposable nappy.
I'm hoping it was a wedding special, as the potential for mayhem with incense in the valley later this morning is beginning to make me Very Nervous Indeed.
Happy Sunday :-) x

mibi52 said...

Laughing in solidarity. Isn't it a bear, when you really WOULD like to laugh, as Daughter Unit and SIL did, because it would make you feel so much better about this utter ClusterF***, but you can't. Makes me want to write another of those execrable "How We Do Weddings at St. Swithen's" threefold brochures...but with penalties ("Additional Fees: an extra $150 if you do not control the little children in the wedding party, if you have your maid of honor sing "The Wind Beneath My Wings" or if you insist on reading from Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet" or scripture paraphrases from "The Message.")

Not that I'm judgmental or anything.

Choralgirl said...

First Chrysanthemums. Hearty snicker. And a sympathetic wish for re-gruntling.

Blessings!

Evelyn said...

Oh dear, oh dear....... I've heard of many things being skipped, but never the SERMON!

Re-gruntling, I'm going to have to remember that word!