Sunday, December 2, 2007

colder than fludgeons, I don't know what a fludgeon is, or indeed whether they come singly! But I am given to believe that fludgeons represent a certain standard of coldness.
My mother used to say -- but only of a living thing, such as a child -- "Oh, you're as cold as a FROG." So I felt I was in familiar territory when I came to read Robert Herrick's grace,

"Here a little child I stand,
heaving up my either hand;
cold as paddocks [=frogs] though they be,
here I heave them up to thee;
that a benison may fall,
on our meat and on us all."

My sassy aunt used to say, "Colder than a witch's...ankles" -- and I was all grown up before it occurred to me that she had emended that phrase to make it suitable for family use.

It was TWENTY BELOW Fahrenheit outside my house this morning. And inside my car. And also inside my shoes, which had been in my shoe bag IN my car overnight. Very refreshing to put on when I got to church, wow.

At this point we are three services down and one more to go. Two Eucharists this morning. The Mothers-Against-Drunk-Driving Candlelight service this afternoon. My plan to make them think it was time to move to another church, next year, failed. "Oh, you always give us such nice words," they said. I was hoping for something more on the lines of "Skleros ho logos," but no. So I SUPPOSE we'll book them for the first Sunday in December again next year, sigh. Besides -- on what other occasion am I escorted to my prayer desk by an honor guard of police officers, including Mounties in full red serge and all? (Also "packing heat" but I try not to think about that.)

Speaking of heat, I do WISH these groups would not prop the back doors open (at twenty below) while they carry in their paraphernalia. And while they stand in the parking lot discussing who will carry in which paraphernalia. It makes me testy.

And now the final practice is underway for the Advent Lessons and Carols...the choirs of Most Holy and Undivided, and St. Fearfully High...
The lectern Bible is all marked with the seven lessons. We have readers, for all seven lessons. We have come to a consensus on how many verses there are to "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel."
There is no sermon, homily, address, or reflection, THANKS BE TO GOD.
And then we go downstairs and EAT, huzza. My orrechiette'n'shrimp'n'vodka-sauce casserole is warming up. I opted not to make the shrimp salad. Too chilly...and fludgeon-like.


Identity Mixed said...

I love those expressions. When my grandmother wants us to get our move on, she says, "Quick like a bunny!"

more cows than people said...

love this post.

wondering where you are that it is colder than here.

are you in my favorite country north of the u.s.a.?

ever since moving to the north country for this call i have developed temperature induced turrets. i swear and make all sorts of bizarre noises when i get too cold- usually in the car. i have to bit my tongue when driving youth around. i just make funny noises.

your clever expressions would be safer.

Crimson Rambler said...

Yes, I am well and truly north of the 49th parallel. Perhaps if I said "eh?" oftener in my blog...??? I find the cold harder to bear as I get older. And I take comfort in reflecting that my mother's mink coat is hanging in my closet ... if it gets much colder than this...

suzanne said...

20 below! Mercy! I'm feeling much warmer here, having read that. It is a balmy 32 degrees F here in Michigan. Dear Crimson, I hope that you are at this moment tucked in with a hot water bottle and a warm beverage and feeling of satisfaction that the Advent season has been truly and thoroughly ushered in. Well done today! We've had a lessons and our carols and our casseroles and we are ready now to wait together in darkness for the return of the Light.

Jane Ellen+ said...

We almost got up to freezing here today; wouldn't have been so bad if the wind weren't whipping about so.

My uncle used to use the same description your aunt did-- but his was the complete, unexpurgated version. Her substitution wouldn't work for him; it's hard to imagine a witch's ankles in a brass brassiere.

Auntie Knickers said...

Your service sounds lovely, and the potluck too! The weather -- not so much. I had plenty of that when I lived South of Manitoba, East of North Dakota. Now I'm in balmy southern Maine where temps like yours would be front page news. (Actually, the headline on our local paper today was "Snow blankets Midcoast." Gee, I wouldn't have known that without the newspaper.)